Have you ever wanted to just turn the clock back on a portion of your life? You know, hit the rewind button and record over that mistake you made or that word you said in anger?
Sadly the closest thing to turning back time that I've ever been able to accomplish comes once a year when the world returns to normal and Daylight Savings Time ends. Ironically and perfectly enough, that time is tonight (at least in the USA, that is). I'm actually typing this in anticipation of seeing whether I need to manually reset my cell phone clock or if it will handle the change on its own (as so much technology seems to do lately...who needs humans anymore? But that's a completely different topic).
The idea of being able to turn back time, even just one hour of it once a year, began to turn the wheels in my head. Given the chance, would I turn back time? Would I relive a piece of my life in hopes of fixing what I perceive to be the mistakes?
I can think of a couple of things that I would love to erase from my past, a few responses to people that I would change and a few actions that I would tweak.
Oh who am I kidding? If the 21-year-old me could talk to the 16-year-old me and tell the younger version of me what mistakes to avoid and things to change, the 21-year-old version of me doing the telling wouldn't even exist. Whether I like it or not, everything that I was, everything that I would change, is what made me the person I am today.
I am not proud of some of the decisions I've made, but I am wiser because of them. I am not yet the person that I am going to be (and I'm sure the 40-year-old version of me will probably gawk at some of my present decisions just because the 21-year-old me is still learning).
I've been reflecting a lot on the book of Ecclesiastes and the wise words of the Teacher who said that for everything there is a season. There's a season of learning and a season of teaching. I make mistakes and I learn from those mistakes so that someday, whether in the near or distant future, I can use that knowledge to teach others and help them to not make the same mistakes.
For everything there is a season. There's a season to mess up, and there's a season to get it right. Sometimes we're impatient when we can't seem to get things right the first time (or second or third or fourth, etc.). It's frustrating. It's demanding of us. It stretches us in ways we often are reticent to even consider. But it's necessary.
Just like winter is often a trying season of the year, and the cold winds seem to make even the simplest of tasks a hardship, seasons of making mistakes can seem like the end of the world. But in spite of the hardship that it causes, winter is a time of renewal. It allows the soil to regain some of the nutrients it lost during the growing season and to become fertile again, just in time for the growing season.
So would I turn back time? Would I tip off the 16-year-old me and recreate my life? No. The lessons I've learned are sometimes painful, and sometimes the pain continues for years after the actual mistake, but I wouldn't trade the knowledge I've gained for an easier life. I'm not called here to have an easy life. I'm called to help others.
With each mistake I make, with each lesson I learn, I gain more knowledge to impart to others, and more empathy with which to impart it. That is priceless.
Happy end of Daylight Savings Time, everyone.
(PS: My cell phone really did need my help! It's nice to feel needed... My computer on the other hand, well, it's autonomous when it comes to returning to normalcy apparently.)
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