I have read the Gospel of Luke countless times in my life, but tonight I noticed something that I had never really taken note of before: after Jesus tells the disciples that they are to forgive without limit, they automatically ask not how to accomplish such a feat of forgiveness, but rather how to increase their faith.
Perhaps the realization is slow in coming for me, but it amazes me how intrinsically related faith and forgiveness really are. One cannot forgive without faith. But one must have the right kind of faith: a faith in God. For if we forgive in faith of our human selves or counterparts, we shall surely be disappointed.
As humans, we do not have the capacity for perfection. Nor do we have the ability to forgive if we are trusting in ourselves or others to enact that forgiveness.
It's so simple, yet so wonderful! We "forgive as the Lord forgave you," and the forgiveness of God is based in God's greatness, not in our capacity to act upon it! So why do we as humans feel like when we forgive others that they are then responsible for maintaining that forgiveness?
I am such a foolish girl for ever thinking that anything in my life is rooted in this world. When I gave my life to God, He took everything. But sometimes He lets me feel like I still have control of some things, just so that when I realize He's had it all along, I can simply let go and rejoice in the awesomeness of my God.
I feel like I am now living in the freedom of forgiveness because I truly understand that when I forgive someone, it's not my forgiveness at all that I bestow. My forgiveness means nothing; it is human and will pass away like a vapor in the wind. But my Father's forgiveness is powerful enough to heal all wounds, and that's the forgiveness that I lean upon today.
I've always heard that forgiveness is such a powerful thing; now I truly believe it.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
The summer of complacent discontent
Yesterday marked the official end of my summer break: I packed all my things and moved back to Lee's campus to begin the travail of the fall semester.
As I step into the current of a new academic year, I can't help but look back and reflect on a summer that, though nothing like I had planned when I left campus in May, has been a true life-changing, learning and growing experience.
This summer, I rediscovered my roots. I spent time with family, reaffirmed the bonds of old friendships, discovered the true beauty of my microcosmic world, rediscovered my artistic side and even dabbled a bit in country music.
Most importantly, I learned that God really does have to be the center of absolutely everything in our lives. He is the Potter, we are the clay. We have to be in the center of His wheel or risk being flung off, bruised, torn, messed up. But praise be to Him who always picks us up, brushes us off and sets us back on the wheel so that He can compassionately mold us into the people He wants us to be!
So if this summer has been so great, why the epithet of "complacent discontent"?
Simply because there was so much else I wanted to do. I spent most of my summer longing to be elsewhere. To make a trip. To have an adventure. To show the world what I'm made of.
Instead, I settled into the seemingly monotonous Franklin County life that I have known for 20 years now. But hindsight is 20/20.
I didn't travel outside the state of Tennessee, but I discovered magical places practically in my backyard!
I didn't have an awesome internship, but I learned about helping people you've never seen and will most likely never see again.
I didn't go on a mission trip, but I reached out to the children of my church. And they reached back to me. I don't know who got the better end of that deal because they blessed me so much this summer.
I didn't introduce myself to the world, but the world began to introduce itself to me.
If anything this summer has taught me three things:
1. Sometime the responsible thing to do may not be fun, but you will always reap the benefits of obedience.
2. A good root system will help you weather any storm.
3. I don't have to go looking for adventure; God will supply my every need and use me to supply the needs of others no matter where I go. He has me exactly where He wants me, and that's where I always want to be. Sure, the physical location may change, but no matter where I am, I know that God is there guiding my way.
Even though I feel that my calling will lead me far from the home I love, it will always be home. And I was so blessed to spend my summer-my entire summer-in such a wonderful place.
So it's with a heart full of love that I look back on summer 2009, my summer of complacent discontent, and bid it a fond farewell.
There were hard times and tears, but there were also many wonderful times and laughter.
I can't spend my time wondering what would have happened if... I now have the task of taking what happened and applying the lessons learned to the future. And let me tell you, "It's gonna be a brighter day!"
As I step into the current of a new academic year, I can't help but look back and reflect on a summer that, though nothing like I had planned when I left campus in May, has been a true life-changing, learning and growing experience.
This summer, I rediscovered my roots. I spent time with family, reaffirmed the bonds of old friendships, discovered the true beauty of my microcosmic world, rediscovered my artistic side and even dabbled a bit in country music.
Most importantly, I learned that God really does have to be the center of absolutely everything in our lives. He is the Potter, we are the clay. We have to be in the center of His wheel or risk being flung off, bruised, torn, messed up. But praise be to Him who always picks us up, brushes us off and sets us back on the wheel so that He can compassionately mold us into the people He wants us to be!
So if this summer has been so great, why the epithet of "complacent discontent"?
Simply because there was so much else I wanted to do. I spent most of my summer longing to be elsewhere. To make a trip. To have an adventure. To show the world what I'm made of.
Instead, I settled into the seemingly monotonous Franklin County life that I have known for 20 years now. But hindsight is 20/20.
I didn't travel outside the state of Tennessee, but I discovered magical places practically in my backyard!
I didn't have an awesome internship, but I learned about helping people you've never seen and will most likely never see again.
I didn't go on a mission trip, but I reached out to the children of my church. And they reached back to me. I don't know who got the better end of that deal because they blessed me so much this summer.
I didn't introduce myself to the world, but the world began to introduce itself to me.
If anything this summer has taught me three things:
1. Sometime the responsible thing to do may not be fun, but you will always reap the benefits of obedience.
2. A good root system will help you weather any storm.
3. I don't have to go looking for adventure; God will supply my every need and use me to supply the needs of others no matter where I go. He has me exactly where He wants me, and that's where I always want to be. Sure, the physical location may change, but no matter where I am, I know that God is there guiding my way.
Even though I feel that my calling will lead me far from the home I love, it will always be home. And I was so blessed to spend my summer-my entire summer-in such a wonderful place.
So it's with a heart full of love that I look back on summer 2009, my summer of complacent discontent, and bid it a fond farewell.
There were hard times and tears, but there were also many wonderful times and laughter.
I can't spend my time wondering what would have happened if... I now have the task of taking what happened and applying the lessons learned to the future. And let me tell you, "It's gonna be a brighter day!"
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