Recently, I had two very perplexing dreams that caused me to pause and ponder the nature of dreams and what we can really gain from them.
I know that dreams are (thought to be) outlets through which our brains process information that is daily crammed into our minds. Each tiny detail of every day is recorded, and sleep is a time to file away in an organized manner the memories and cues that have been acquired during our daily rituals and experiences. Sometimes, though, I think we can learn an abundance from the dreams that are a result of the filing system that God designed for each of our unique brains. Our dreams are a way for our brains to get our attention, to take a situation and put it in terms that grab our attention and spell out what is really going on when perhaps we don't want to admit it.
For example, over the course of two nights in the past week, I had two very strange dreams that separately make entirely no sense. In the first, I was outdoors with my family when I startled a snake who had coiled up with a garden hose in the yard. The snake then proceeded to chase me and bite me. When I tried to get help at the local hospital, I was simply handed a stack of paperwork and told that they'd get to me eventually.
The second dream was more bizarre: I was working in a show with a group of blue aliens (yes, I blame Avatar for this). Suddenly, my father (not my actual dad; I seriously felt like I was in a movie) grabs me up and we start running for our lives. I figure out as the dream unfolds that apparently my father in the dream is an alien who had learned to morph into human form, thereby making me half alien. That did not make the traditional aliens very happy. I could never tell if they wanted to kill me or study me, but either way, I did not think it would be a great experience.
After that second dream, I began to wonder if consuming sugar right before bedtime was the culprit of the strangeness of my dreams (but that's a different story). I couldn't get the imagery out of my head, and finally a commonality in the two dreams presented itself to me. In both, I was running from something of which I am deathly afraid (yes, I am afraid of aliens. As a child, I was terrified of ET. True story).
I started trying to apply that to the actual events of my life and realized that, once again, my subconscience was right. For the past month, I have been so afraid of what the future holds for me: finishing undergrad in only three more semesters, grad school possibilities, career possibilities, where to go, who to see, friends to gain and lose, just an overall anxiety about what was going to happen.
I'm not always an anxious person, but every once in a while I do freak out. It's like that feeling I get when I'm floating; I'm calm and enjoying the water, then suddenly every nerve in my body jumps to attention because relying on water for stability just doesn't make sense. I literally lose the ability to float simply because my body doesn't trust the water.
In life, it's basically the same thing with God. I need to rely totally on His plan for my life, but occasionally I start to overthink things and realize that there are way too many blank holes in the plan for it to be feasibly trusted. Every neuron fires in revolt of following such an incomplete plan and I have a viable mutiny between my brain and my faith. (Sometimes being an intellectual really has its downfalls. Childlike faith becomes a true task to achieve.)
In times like that I have to literally just stop and listen to God call to me as He did to Israel in Psalm 46:10: "Be still and know that I am God."
I've been reading lately about God's promise to us and how we are children of promise and not children of the law (see Galatians for Paul's explanation on the thought). Though Paul was talking about the Hebrew law, I began to reflect on how that writing applies to us today. We as Christians no longer have Pharisees nagging at us to eat only clean animals or wear only certain fabrics as prescribed in Mosaic law, but we do have a world that is telling us how to be politically correct and how we should be unoffensive to everyone, even when we stand blatantly against them (which is also taboo, by the way). They even tell us that we have to have a plan for our lives, that we need to know what we're doing long before we do it. And oftentimes, if that plan doesn't include the pursuit of riches or success, they will tell you you're stupid and you'll never amount to anything.
In the reality of God's plan for my life, though, I only know what I'm doing right now. I am a student. I am studying psychology, Spanish and TESOL, and as long as God has me on this path, I will give each of my classes all that I have. I don't know why God has me on so many seemingly different paths, but one of these days, I'll reach a crossroads where all of them meet and it will (hopefully) all make sense.
I am a friend, a daughter and a sister. Some things will never change. God gave me my family as a means of support, but sometimes their roles in my life will change. I guess we both have to learn how to cope with that one. As for my friends, some of them I just intuitively know will always be there, even if I don't hear from them as often as I'd like.
I'm an employee. As much as I don't understand why God has me working at Walgreens, He has yet to release me from it, so I'm just assuming there's a reason for me to be where I am.
In everything, though, God knows my every need, and He will provide like He always has.
Yes, it is very disconcerting to me to think that I am not really sure in what state or even what country I will be in a year and a half from now. But I know that God has the plan, and He can see the road beyond the bumps of this semester and beyond the curve of graduation next year. He knows me better than I know myself, and I need to trust Him, no matter what the laws and the physical situation around me are saying.
It's kind of like floating. It scares me to rely on something so seemingly unstable for total support. But you have to learn to float before you can swim. It doesn't make sense and sometimes I don't think I'm capable of doing it, but the more I trust, the more I find that all things are indeed possible.
In the meantime, I'll keep living one day at a time and dreaming of the plans that God has for me. And hopefully, there will be no more snakes or strange alien life forms.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
Ten things I've learned over break (and other miscellaneous musings)
10. Flying is quite an adventure. The first week of break, I stepped foot on a plane for the first time ever with my friend Andrea, bound for Massachusetts (more on that later). I learned that vertigo is no fun, but when the song "Vertigo" starts playing while you're experiencing vertigo, the situation is quite humorous. My solution to flying: sleep it off. And the free in-flight ginger ale works wonders, too (thanks, Cameron).
9. Working retail on Christmas makes one feel dirty. Anyone who talked to me the week before and the day of Christmas knows that I took being away from my family for the sake of running a cash register. I was actually quite bitter about the whole situation (and cried multiple times about it). I've decided that I never want to work retail on Christmas again. No amount of money is worth it. And people need to be with their families anyways, not checking to see if our Christmas cards are on sale yet.
8. Snow has a tendency to perfect every occasion I love snow. It's a bit of a quandary for me, seeing as how I tend to have no ability to stay warm in cold situations, but I'm slowly learning to adapt and overcome that small problem. Snow is, quite literally, the icing on the cake for me. It's almost as if for a moment one can forget the dead and dying grass that lies below and just enjoy the pristine beauty that is encompassed in a snowy day.
7. New England looks just like the postcards. Speaking of snow, I thought those picturesque "picture prints by Currier and Ives" were really just part of the song, not real life! I saw 14 inches of snow on the ground, made a snowlady who was almost as tall as I am and even jumped into a snowbank! Visiting Massachusetts was a true learning experience, and it is something I will not forget for a very, very long time. Thanks, Andrea, for sharing your home!
6. Even if the movie isn't that impressive, the soundtrack could still be gold. This is the case with New Moon. I was actually fairly disappointed with the movie. (Made from my least favorite book in the Twilight series anyways, it really didn't stand a chance, I don't think.) I was actually very skeptical about the soundtrack, too, since Carter Burwell was no longer composing the score. I've actually found myself liking it more and more, though. Deathcab's "Meet Me on the Equinox" is swiftly becoming my favorite, while the driving piano in "New Moon (The Meadow)" had me quite aurally captivated when I first heard it. Even the remix of "I Belong to You" was to my musical liking. That just goes to show you: don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. And don't write off every aspect of a production; read the fine print, too.
5. The "real world" just isn't worth the paycheck they give you. For all the long hours, cardboard cuts, heavy lifting, difficult customers and, above all, time missed with loved ones on account of going to work, it's not worth the paycheck that comes in. Yes, I have to have money to live in this world. But money and I are no good for each other. We just don't like each other at all. So why should I do anything for it? Ah the cruelty of life in this world! This is why I'm going to school. If I have to work for a paycheck, I'm going to at least do something I love.
4. It's the small things in life that really matter. Yes, I hate my job. But I can't say it's given me nothing but grief. Walgreens has afforded me some great opportunities to truly help people. From translating for the Hispanic patrons who come through the doors to helping customers find what they're looking for, it's nice to know you made a difference in someone's life. And one meets some of the strangest people. For example, on Christmas Day, a lady came through my line who had been alone all day because her mother was in the nursing home and her boyfriend was...well, he was with his wife. The lady just looked at me calmly and said, "I know, I'm horrible." Strange, indeed.
3. Sometimes you really just have to let go. It's amazing how simple this idea is, yet how reticent I am to enacting it in my own life. It's something I'm working on. When God tells me it's time to let go, I need to trust that if whatever it is is really supposed to be in my life, I don't have to hold onto it to keep it there. And some things are just better left on the highway in the rearview mirror. It's painful; sometimes you don't feel like there's any resolution. But sometimes that's just how it has to be.
2. I get by with a little help from my friends. Simply put, without mis amigos, I would drive myself crazy. I am very thankful that God has allowed my path to cross the paths of so many wonderful people and that He has seen fit that they would be with me through thick and thin. It's been an amazing journey, and I couldn't imagine it without my friends.
1. Nothing takes God by surprise. This is a lesson that wasn't learned over break; it was just proven to me time and again as it always is and always will be. Through the good and the bad, the easy and the hard, the understandable and the incomprehensible, one thing remains constant: God knows what we're going through, and He will never leave us nor forsake us. His infathomable love washes over even the greatest of disappointments and His intoxicating joy moves in our lives as the basis of every surge of felicitation. He is the everlasting King, and He guides each of our lives. We are where we are because He has a plan. We may not see the big picture, but we must learn to unconditionally trust the Creator of this magnificent work of art.
And finally, something that I keep going back to: "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true, there is life and joy." Proverbs 13:12.
May all your lives be filled with life and joy as your dreams come true in 2010 and in the years to come.
9. Working retail on Christmas makes one feel dirty. Anyone who talked to me the week before and the day of Christmas knows that I took being away from my family for the sake of running a cash register. I was actually quite bitter about the whole situation (and cried multiple times about it). I've decided that I never want to work retail on Christmas again. No amount of money is worth it. And people need to be with their families anyways, not checking to see if our Christmas cards are on sale yet.
8. Snow has a tendency to perfect every occasion I love snow. It's a bit of a quandary for me, seeing as how I tend to have no ability to stay warm in cold situations, but I'm slowly learning to adapt and overcome that small problem. Snow is, quite literally, the icing on the cake for me. It's almost as if for a moment one can forget the dead and dying grass that lies below and just enjoy the pristine beauty that is encompassed in a snowy day.
7. New England looks just like the postcards. Speaking of snow, I thought those picturesque "picture prints by Currier and Ives" were really just part of the song, not real life! I saw 14 inches of snow on the ground, made a snowlady who was almost as tall as I am and even jumped into a snowbank! Visiting Massachusetts was a true learning experience, and it is something I will not forget for a very, very long time. Thanks, Andrea, for sharing your home!
6. Even if the movie isn't that impressive, the soundtrack could still be gold. This is the case with New Moon. I was actually fairly disappointed with the movie. (Made from my least favorite book in the Twilight series anyways, it really didn't stand a chance, I don't think.) I was actually very skeptical about the soundtrack, too, since Carter Burwell was no longer composing the score. I've actually found myself liking it more and more, though. Deathcab's "Meet Me on the Equinox" is swiftly becoming my favorite, while the driving piano in "New Moon (The Meadow)" had me quite aurally captivated when I first heard it. Even the remix of "I Belong to You" was to my musical liking. That just goes to show you: don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. And don't write off every aspect of a production; read the fine print, too.
5. The "real world" just isn't worth the paycheck they give you. For all the long hours, cardboard cuts, heavy lifting, difficult customers and, above all, time missed with loved ones on account of going to work, it's not worth the paycheck that comes in. Yes, I have to have money to live in this world. But money and I are no good for each other. We just don't like each other at all. So why should I do anything for it? Ah the cruelty of life in this world! This is why I'm going to school. If I have to work for a paycheck, I'm going to at least do something I love.
4. It's the small things in life that really matter. Yes, I hate my job. But I can't say it's given me nothing but grief. Walgreens has afforded me some great opportunities to truly help people. From translating for the Hispanic patrons who come through the doors to helping customers find what they're looking for, it's nice to know you made a difference in someone's life. And one meets some of the strangest people. For example, on Christmas Day, a lady came through my line who had been alone all day because her mother was in the nursing home and her boyfriend was...well, he was with his wife. The lady just looked at me calmly and said, "I know, I'm horrible." Strange, indeed.
3. Sometimes you really just have to let go. It's amazing how simple this idea is, yet how reticent I am to enacting it in my own life. It's something I'm working on. When God tells me it's time to let go, I need to trust that if whatever it is is really supposed to be in my life, I don't have to hold onto it to keep it there. And some things are just better left on the highway in the rearview mirror. It's painful; sometimes you don't feel like there's any resolution. But sometimes that's just how it has to be.
2. I get by with a little help from my friends. Simply put, without mis amigos, I would drive myself crazy. I am very thankful that God has allowed my path to cross the paths of so many wonderful people and that He has seen fit that they would be with me through thick and thin. It's been an amazing journey, and I couldn't imagine it without my friends.
1. Nothing takes God by surprise. This is a lesson that wasn't learned over break; it was just proven to me time and again as it always is and always will be. Through the good and the bad, the easy and the hard, the understandable and the incomprehensible, one thing remains constant: God knows what we're going through, and He will never leave us nor forsake us. His infathomable love washes over even the greatest of disappointments and His intoxicating joy moves in our lives as the basis of every surge of felicitation. He is the everlasting King, and He guides each of our lives. We are where we are because He has a plan. We may not see the big picture, but we must learn to unconditionally trust the Creator of this magnificent work of art.
And finally, something that I keep going back to: "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true, there is life and joy." Proverbs 13:12.
May all your lives be filled with life and joy as your dreams come true in 2010 and in the years to come.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Good gracious! Where has time gone?
I noticed that I haven't written in a while, so before I embark on the telling of all of my Christmas break adventures, I'd like to take a moment to recap everything that has happened since the fortuitous day I received my first car (and no, I have not wrecked it. Mercy is just peachy, thanks!)
The end of the semester is finally here, and I survived yet another semester of writing papers, doing service hours, taking tests and of course making loads of memories with my friends. I competed in my first taekwondo tournament (3rd place-forms, 1st place-sparring), tested for my blue belt and continued working at the Walgreens back home in FC.
And it was at Walgreens that I had one of the most profound experiences of the year. So allow me to use the rest of this post to share my story.
It all started when I got my work schedule for Thanksgiving break. The only shift they could offer me over the whole five days I was going to be home was Black Friday. Knowing that I needed the hours, I could do nothing but accept the shift and prepare myself to be at Walgreens when the doors opened at 7 a.m. My thoughts: "Oh snap."
For anyone who doesn't know, I am basically nocturnal, so waking up at 5:30 a.m. to get ready for work is a big deal! Amazingly enough, I made it to work on time, in spite of almost forgetting to pack my lunch and discovering an unexpected layer of frost on my windshield.
When I pulled into the parking lot, there were already people lined up outside the door waiting to get in. I knocked on the door, gained entrance, said hello to the store manager, clocked in and braced myself as I walked to the doors to admit the bargain-thirsty shoppers. My thoughts: "Please don't let them kill me!"
My day can be divided into two distinct parts and each of them, thank God, were completely different.
First, the sale. Top sellers included these large decorator candles on sale three for $9.99 and these little artificial potted pre-lit four-foot Christmas trees buy one, get one free. It was completely crazy. My thoughts: "Baby step to eleven o'clock, baby step to eleven o'clock."
My fifteen minute break never felt so good. Soon, though, I was back out at the cash register and ready for Round 2: the Santa. That's right, Walgreens invited a Santa to come in and take photos with the children for a couple of hours. This actually turned out to be a good thing, since for those two hours, every child in the store was on his or her best behavior. It was actually amazing. Never in my life have I been so thankful for a Santa Claus.
After Santa left, things calmed down and the melancholy that is a small-town Walgreens returned. I made my escape at 3:30 p.m., sore-footed and drained of all energy, but happy that I was a survivor.
The rest of the semester has been pretty tame compared to that one Friday, but I'm glad to have the experience! Glad it's over, though!
The end of the semester is finally here, and I survived yet another semester of writing papers, doing service hours, taking tests and of course making loads of memories with my friends. I competed in my first taekwondo tournament (3rd place-forms, 1st place-sparring), tested for my blue belt and continued working at the Walgreens back home in FC.
And it was at Walgreens that I had one of the most profound experiences of the year. So allow me to use the rest of this post to share my story.
It all started when I got my work schedule for Thanksgiving break. The only shift they could offer me over the whole five days I was going to be home was Black Friday. Knowing that I needed the hours, I could do nothing but accept the shift and prepare myself to be at Walgreens when the doors opened at 7 a.m. My thoughts: "Oh snap."
For anyone who doesn't know, I am basically nocturnal, so waking up at 5:30 a.m. to get ready for work is a big deal! Amazingly enough, I made it to work on time, in spite of almost forgetting to pack my lunch and discovering an unexpected layer of frost on my windshield.
When I pulled into the parking lot, there were already people lined up outside the door waiting to get in. I knocked on the door, gained entrance, said hello to the store manager, clocked in and braced myself as I walked to the doors to admit the bargain-thirsty shoppers. My thoughts: "Please don't let them kill me!"
My day can be divided into two distinct parts and each of them, thank God, were completely different.
First, the sale. Top sellers included these large decorator candles on sale three for $9.99 and these little artificial potted pre-lit four-foot Christmas trees buy one, get one free. It was completely crazy. My thoughts: "Baby step to eleven o'clock, baby step to eleven o'clock."
My fifteen minute break never felt so good. Soon, though, I was back out at the cash register and ready for Round 2: the Santa. That's right, Walgreens invited a Santa to come in and take photos with the children for a couple of hours. This actually turned out to be a good thing, since for those two hours, every child in the store was on his or her best behavior. It was actually amazing. Never in my life have I been so thankful for a Santa Claus.
After Santa left, things calmed down and the melancholy that is a small-town Walgreens returned. I made my escape at 3:30 p.m., sore-footed and drained of all energy, but happy that I was a survivor.
The rest of the semester has been pretty tame compared to that one Friday, but I'm glad to have the experience! Glad it's over, though!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
What's in a name?
Today I have the joy of naming my first car. She's beautiful: a muted red 2008 Hyundai Elantra. Great gas mileage, awesome safety rating, not too many miles already on it, sunroof and (possibly my favorite) cruise control on the steering wheel.
Needless to say, I am a very blessed college kid. Also easily guessed: my part time Walgreens paycheck is not going to be able to pay for this car. So how in the world did I end up driving this vehicle home today? I'm glad you asked.
My father offered me the same deal he extended to my sister when she purchased her first car six years ago: I pay the down payment and he'll take care of the rest. He did this because he knows that we will travel far and he'd rather we have reliable vehicles than purchase what we can actually afford. He wants us to be safe, and helping to provide us decent cars is one way he can be proactive in that facet of our lives.
But driving home today, I couldn't escape the feeling that I didn't deserve this. As some of you may know, a couple of summers ago I accrued a pretty rough driving record.
I totaled my mother's van because I was stupid and allowed my cell phone to distract me while driving. A few months later, I hydroplaned on a country road while driving my sister's car; I spun into a ditch and hit the same fence post three times.
It's been a running joke in my family ever since that I'm not the safest driver. I'm still living with that reputation. (My sister's boyfriend even has a bet going about how long it'll take me to wreck this car.)
So it's pretty easy to see why I have mixed feelings about receiving such a nice car today. I don't really deserve it. With my past record, I don't feel like I could ever do anything to earn such a car or the trust that goes with it. And yet, the keys are in my purse, the mirrors are adjusted to my liking and the owner's manual is mine to peruse and become knowledgeable of.
Why? Why did my parents feel the need to help me get such a nice car? They could have easily found a cheap clunker that could make it over Monteagle and leave it at that. Instead, they have given me this Elantra, in spite of the price and in spite of my past.
Isn't is so much like the grace and mercy of God? We can never do anything to deserve it, and He had to pay such a high price to offer it to us. Yet He didn't hesitate to die on the cross. Why?
Because we're worth it. We are so precious to Him, in spite of our shortcomings, that He went all the way to Calvary to pay for our salvation. All He asks of us is that we live a life of love, love for Him and love for others.
Similarly, my dad asks that, in return for his trust and his investment in me, I exercise caution and discretion in my actions. It's such a small thing to ask when I consider the sacrifices that he and my mother are making in order for me to have such a vehicle.
So, in recognition of my parents' faith in me and of the sacrifice that God made for me, I have decided to name my car Mercy.
For I have been granted mercy by both my parents and God: a chance to escape my past driving record and a chance to escape a life of sin. I can't change my past, but I can live in the light that God has cast upon me. I choose to walk in that path, in that bright future that I know God has for me.
And every time I get behind the wheel of my vehicle, I will remember to thank God for Mercy, both the action and the car.
Needless to say, I am a very blessed college kid. Also easily guessed: my part time Walgreens paycheck is not going to be able to pay for this car. So how in the world did I end up driving this vehicle home today? I'm glad you asked.
My father offered me the same deal he extended to my sister when she purchased her first car six years ago: I pay the down payment and he'll take care of the rest. He did this because he knows that we will travel far and he'd rather we have reliable vehicles than purchase what we can actually afford. He wants us to be safe, and helping to provide us decent cars is one way he can be proactive in that facet of our lives.
But driving home today, I couldn't escape the feeling that I didn't deserve this. As some of you may know, a couple of summers ago I accrued a pretty rough driving record.
I totaled my mother's van because I was stupid and allowed my cell phone to distract me while driving. A few months later, I hydroplaned on a country road while driving my sister's car; I spun into a ditch and hit the same fence post three times.
It's been a running joke in my family ever since that I'm not the safest driver. I'm still living with that reputation. (My sister's boyfriend even has a bet going about how long it'll take me to wreck this car.)
So it's pretty easy to see why I have mixed feelings about receiving such a nice car today. I don't really deserve it. With my past record, I don't feel like I could ever do anything to earn such a car or the trust that goes with it. And yet, the keys are in my purse, the mirrors are adjusted to my liking and the owner's manual is mine to peruse and become knowledgeable of.
Why? Why did my parents feel the need to help me get such a nice car? They could have easily found a cheap clunker that could make it over Monteagle and leave it at that. Instead, they have given me this Elantra, in spite of the price and in spite of my past.
Isn't is so much like the grace and mercy of God? We can never do anything to deserve it, and He had to pay such a high price to offer it to us. Yet He didn't hesitate to die on the cross. Why?
Because we're worth it. We are so precious to Him, in spite of our shortcomings, that He went all the way to Calvary to pay for our salvation. All He asks of us is that we live a life of love, love for Him and love for others.
Similarly, my dad asks that, in return for his trust and his investment in me, I exercise caution and discretion in my actions. It's such a small thing to ask when I consider the sacrifices that he and my mother are making in order for me to have such a vehicle.
So, in recognition of my parents' faith in me and of the sacrifice that God made for me, I have decided to name my car Mercy.
For I have been granted mercy by both my parents and God: a chance to escape my past driving record and a chance to escape a life of sin. I can't change my past, but I can live in the light that God has cast upon me. I choose to walk in that path, in that bright future that I know God has for me.
And every time I get behind the wheel of my vehicle, I will remember to thank God for Mercy, both the action and the car.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Once upon a T[U2]esday night...
Last Tuesday, Oct. 6, 2009, was one of the most amazing nights I have ever had. Some friends and I traveled to Atlanta, Ga., for the U2 360 tour. (You can read a review of the concert that I wrote here.)
This night was a night of many firsts for me: the first time I'd been to a mainstream concert, the first time I'd been to any event where alcohol was sold, the first time I had ever bought a tour shirt, just to name a few. (I can now truthfully tell someone that I have been there, done that, got the T-shirt!)
It was also a first for one of my best friends: I was so glad to get to rock out with Richard at his first big concert experience. And we did indeed rock all night.
I decided to share a couple of my favorite songs from the concert here. Sometimes the sound quality isn't the greatest, and at times the background noise (such as the beer vendor in the second video) gets annoying, but these memories are some that I will cherish forever. I was truly "stuck in a moment" in the "city of blinding lights."
Hope you enjoy!
This night was a night of many firsts for me: the first time I'd been to a mainstream concert, the first time I'd been to any event where alcohol was sold, the first time I had ever bought a tour shirt, just to name a few. (I can now truthfully tell someone that I have been there, done that, got the T-shirt!)
It was also a first for one of my best friends: I was so glad to get to rock out with Richard at his first big concert experience. And we did indeed rock all night.
I decided to share a couple of my favorite songs from the concert here. Sometimes the sound quality isn't the greatest, and at times the background noise (such as the beer vendor in the second video) gets annoying, but these memories are some that I will cherish forever. I was truly "stuck in a moment" in the "city of blinding lights."
Hope you enjoy!
Saturday, October 10, 2009
The greatest of these is love...
Over the past few months, I have found myself enveloped in an ongoing discussion concerning a topic of great dissension in the body of Christ: predestination.
What challenges me most in this discussion is that the two sides are coming from two different seats of emotion: predestination has a more logical, analytical structure originating in the mind and in a direct interpretation of Scripture, while free will arguments tend to originate more in the emotive parts of our reasoning.
Now, as far as I am able to discern, the main verses in support of predestination is found in Romans 8, mainly verses 29-30, which in the NKJV read, "For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified."
I can see their point.
It makes logical sense to me that these passages could be interpreted to mean that God has called a select number to repentance and has put a cap on salvation. It even makes sense that God cannot have given us free will simply because He already knows what's going to happen, so what's the point?
But since when was anything in Christianity based on solely logic? The whole idea of faith is that it is "substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen."
John 6:40 records Jesus as saying, "And this is the will of Him who sent Me, that everyone who sees the Son and believes in Him may have everlasting life; and I will raise him up at the last day.”
Everyone, eh?
I find it intriguing that Paul, who spoke so avidly of predestination in Romans 9 would write in Romans 10: "For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call upon Him. For 'whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved.'"
Whoever? Or only those who are called and predestined? A predestinatarian would say that this is explicable because only the chosen would feel compelled to call on the name of the Lord.
Again, I could see that.
But the one thing that I cannot agree with or even really grasp about the doctrine of predestination is the incongruency I see in the biblically-established character of God: 1 John 4:8 states that "God is love."
1 Corinthians 13, known for its poignant definition of love, leads me to isolate a few characteristics of Love; it "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails."
This is the part where I depart from the strict use of scripture and begin to use a few concepts that I learned in geometry class: the idea of proofs.
If God is love, and love hopes all things, is it a stretch to say that God hopes that all might be saved? Too abstract, maybe?
Sidebar: If a believer in predestination is witnessing to someone, can they honestly say "Jesus loves you"? What if it turns out they are not "chosen"? If Jesus loved them, would He not have chosen them for salvation as well? Does God love those He condemns to eternal suffering by not choosing them as one of the elect? Just a thought.
How about the idea that we are all made in God's image (Genesis 2)? If God made each of us in His image, why would He who "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" decide that only a select few of His creation were salvageable?
A predestinarian friend of mine recently elaborated on the idea that because God is all-present and all-knowing, the notion of free will would insinuate that a human could change the mind of God.
In my mind I have an image of God that seems to be quite different from this description. I see God with a script of the future. I can hear Him calling to each person, telling each of His creations, "Here is the script. Are you sure this is what you want? This isn't how I want it to be! But as soon as it's sealed, the choice is permanent!"
For we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). At some point in our lives, we were all in that place of disgrace, in that separation from God. But that voice of Mercy calls out to each of us, telling us, "NO! This isn't how it has to be!"
As the old song says, "The love of God is greater far than tongue of men can ever tell. It goes beyond the highest star and reaches to the lowest hell."
I have decided after much consideration that I do not and cannot believe in the Calvinistic concept of predestination. And if I err, I err on the side of love. For "Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away" (1 Corinthians 13:8).
Maybe I'm simply an affective fool, but "God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise" (1 Corinthians 1:27).
For these reasons, I will continue to love everyone and live in hope that everyone has the chance of being my brother or sister in Christ.
Blessings to all.
What challenges me most in this discussion is that the two sides are coming from two different seats of emotion: predestination has a more logical, analytical structure originating in the mind and in a direct interpretation of Scripture, while free will arguments tend to originate more in the emotive parts of our reasoning.
Now, as far as I am able to discern, the main verses in support of predestination is found in Romans 8, mainly verses 29-30, which in the NKJV read, "For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified."
I can see their point.
It makes logical sense to me that these passages could be interpreted to mean that God has called a select number to repentance and has put a cap on salvation. It even makes sense that God cannot have given us free will simply because He already knows what's going to happen, so what's the point?
But since when was anything in Christianity based on solely logic? The whole idea of faith is that it is "substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen."
John 6:40 records Jesus as saying, "And this is the will of Him who sent Me, that everyone who sees the Son and believes in Him may have everlasting life; and I will raise him up at the last day.”
Everyone, eh?
I find it intriguing that Paul, who spoke so avidly of predestination in Romans 9 would write in Romans 10: "For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call upon Him. For 'whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved.'"
Whoever? Or only those who are called and predestined? A predestinatarian would say that this is explicable because only the chosen would feel compelled to call on the name of the Lord.
Again, I could see that.
But the one thing that I cannot agree with or even really grasp about the doctrine of predestination is the incongruency I see in the biblically-established character of God: 1 John 4:8 states that "God is love."
1 Corinthians 13, known for its poignant definition of love, leads me to isolate a few characteristics of Love; it "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails."
This is the part where I depart from the strict use of scripture and begin to use a few concepts that I learned in geometry class: the idea of proofs.
If God is love, and love hopes all things, is it a stretch to say that God hopes that all might be saved? Too abstract, maybe?
Sidebar: If a believer in predestination is witnessing to someone, can they honestly say "Jesus loves you"? What if it turns out they are not "chosen"? If Jesus loved them, would He not have chosen them for salvation as well? Does God love those He condemns to eternal suffering by not choosing them as one of the elect? Just a thought.
How about the idea that we are all made in God's image (Genesis 2)? If God made each of us in His image, why would He who "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" decide that only a select few of His creation were salvageable?
A predestinarian friend of mine recently elaborated on the idea that because God is all-present and all-knowing, the notion of free will would insinuate that a human could change the mind of God.
In my mind I have an image of God that seems to be quite different from this description. I see God with a script of the future. I can hear Him calling to each person, telling each of His creations, "Here is the script. Are you sure this is what you want? This isn't how I want it to be! But as soon as it's sealed, the choice is permanent!"
For we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). At some point in our lives, we were all in that place of disgrace, in that separation from God. But that voice of Mercy calls out to each of us, telling us, "NO! This isn't how it has to be!"
As the old song says, "The love of God is greater far than tongue of men can ever tell. It goes beyond the highest star and reaches to the lowest hell."
I have decided after much consideration that I do not and cannot believe in the Calvinistic concept of predestination. And if I err, I err on the side of love. For "Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away" (1 Corinthians 13:8).
Maybe I'm simply an affective fool, but "God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise" (1 Corinthians 1:27).
For these reasons, I will continue to love everyone and live in hope that everyone has the chance of being my brother or sister in Christ.
Blessings to all.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Mirror, Mirror
Mirror, Mirror, what do I see
As I stand here gazing?
Countless flaws and social faux pas,
Nothing too amazing.
My eyes are too small,
My teeth aren't all straight,
And I freckle, never tan.
My ears a crooked
Though no one will notice.
They're covered so nobody can.
My legs are too short,
My face is too long,
My hair has a mind of its own.
And I'm still surprised
That I've lived this long
With only one broken bone.
My clothes were on clearance,
My jewelry's homemade,
My shoes are falling apart.
I pay no mind to trends and styles,
And most of my shopping
Is done at Wal-Mart.
But Mirror, there must be something more
Than just the reflection I see,
For God has claimed me as His own,
And He has a different vision of me.
I am washed in the blood
That His Son shed for me,
And I am whiter than snow.
I am His adopted child,
And He loves me so much.
It's more than I could ever know.
He sees my heart,
How it beats for Him,
How I want nothing more than His will.
My life I gave to Him,
And I listen for His command
To act or simply be still.
My passion is His people,
My mission His work,
To show the world His love.
To live in a way
That no one can doubt
I live for God above.
So Mirror, you've deceived me
Because I looked with the human eye.
For my beauty surpasses the natural,
It's the beauty of the Most High.
As I stand here gazing?
Countless flaws and social faux pas,
Nothing too amazing.
My eyes are too small,
My teeth aren't all straight,
And I freckle, never tan.
My ears a crooked
Though no one will notice.
They're covered so nobody can.
My legs are too short,
My face is too long,
My hair has a mind of its own.
And I'm still surprised
That I've lived this long
With only one broken bone.
My clothes were on clearance,
My jewelry's homemade,
My shoes are falling apart.
I pay no mind to trends and styles,
And most of my shopping
Is done at Wal-Mart.
But Mirror, there must be something more
Than just the reflection I see,
For God has claimed me as His own,
And He has a different vision of me.
I am washed in the blood
That His Son shed for me,
And I am whiter than snow.
I am His adopted child,
And He loves me so much.
It's more than I could ever know.
He sees my heart,
How it beats for Him,
How I want nothing more than His will.
My life I gave to Him,
And I listen for His command
To act or simply be still.
My passion is His people,
My mission His work,
To show the world His love.
To live in a way
That no one can doubt
I live for God above.
So Mirror, you've deceived me
Because I looked with the human eye.
For my beauty surpasses the natural,
It's the beauty of the Most High.
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